Monday, 31 January 2011
You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast.
And once you're attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them
and make them happy. It's never been about what you want,
it's always everyone's needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people,
who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you,
and you become a pushover. But you're okay with that,
because they're in your life and that's all you ever really wanted.
And even if they screw you over, you'll still be there for them. Because that's you,
that who you are. Once you get attached to someone,
they capture your heart and they always have a place there.
And that is why it's so hard for you to let him go.
Now, it's back to the way we started.
Sometimes late at night I think about all the things that have been,
all the things that haven’t been and all the things yet to be.
If my heart could explode into a billion tiny pieces and
scatter themselves all over the world. If I could live on sunlight and
the city sounds and fall asleep in those thousands of lighted windows.
I wonder if this world will ever make sense to me,
if I will ever truly understand anything… and
if there’s really anything to understand at all.
Warning: I have the tendency to push people away
in order to test who really cares. I've figured out that
this is a terrible habit because i rarely find anyone who
actually cares enough to come after me or fight for me
or something. And those who actually do care
can only deal with so much of my shit.